New Beginnings
by criminalmindslover87
Summary: When Will breaks JJ s heart because of an accident that happened on a case, Hotch is there to help her pick up the pieces. But what happens when they wind up falling in love, with each other? Only time will tell.
1. Chapter 1: The End

Yesturday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift thats why they call it the present. - Joan Rivers

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Jennifer Jareau sat in her office nervously tapping her pen, waiting for her boyfriend, William Lamontagne Jr., to call. She knew he`d be mad, he`d specifically told her not to go on that last case, that it was too dangerous, but she had ignored him because her team needed her and if they hadn`t caught the bomber more people might have died. When her phone started ringing she almost didn`t answer but realized she`d have to deal with him sooner or later. She picked up the phone without looking at the caller ID. "Hi Will." She said into the reciever.

"Sorry Peaches, it`s just me." Penelope Garcia said in a cheery voice.

"Oh, hey Pen." JJ replied partly relieved that she didn`t have to deal with Will right now and partly sad because she`d been back in Quantico for over an hour now and he still hadn`t called.

"You, me, and Emily are going out for a girls night, meet us at my place in half an hour." Garcia`s happy voice boomed through the phone.

"Sorry Pen, we just got back and I want to spend tonight with Will." She said. It wasn`t a complete lie, she did want to spend time with Will just not with him mad at her.

"That`s okay. I`d better go get ready. Have fun with Will. Bye!"

After she hung up the phone, JJ just sat there thinking of all the possibilities of why he hadn`t called. He`s ignoring me. He doesn`t know I`m back. He was in a car accident. The house caught on fire. Her train of thought was interrupted by a knock on her door. "Come in." She called.

Aaron Hotchner walked into the room and sat down across from her, placing an envelope on the desk between them. "Hotch, what is this?" She questioned, picking it up.

"Garcia said it came this morning, before we got back." Hotch replied. "It`s from Will." He added seeing the confusion on her face.

She tore open the envelope like a kid with a present. Hotch watched as her face changed from confusion to sadness.

Dear JJ,  
>I love you and I always will, but I can`t trust you with my life if I can`t trust you with your own life. I can`t spend my life with someone who puts her own life in jeapordy for the sake of a job. I`m sorry but it`s over between us. I`m going back to New Orleans.<br>Sincerally,  
>Willian Lamontagne Jr.<p>

JJ`s eyes were filling up with tears as she read the letter Will had left for her, when she finished reading it tears were already falling down her cheeks. Trying to fight the tears, she stood up to grab the box of tissues on the shelf behind her, but fell to her knees crying. Hotch immediatly stood and ran over to her, he knelt down beside her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. JJ rested her head on his shoulder as he tried to calm her down by rubbing her back and whispering "It`s okay." and "It`ll be alright." Nevertheless the truth was he didn`t know what had happened therefore he didn`t know if what he was saying was true or not.

-o-o-o-o-o-o

One Week Earlier: JJ and Will`s House

"Jareau." JJ said answering her phone. "A bomber? How is this a B.A.U. case?" She asked. "4 bombs? How many casualties?" She questioned the police officer on the phone. "I`m sorry sir, did you say 146 bodies?" JJ was astonished, 146 people killed? "No, I`ll tell them." Hanging up the phone, she turned to Will with an apoloetic look. "I`m sorry." She said.

Will looked up at her with pleading eyes. "Don`t go, JJ. It`s too dangerous." JJ, already packing her go-bag, was fully expecting him to say this, he had been arguing with her every time she had a case for the past year. He thought her job was to dangerous, and always begged her not to go, but his next words stopped her in the doorway. "If you go on that case, we`re done."

JJ took a deep breath. She loved Will more than she had ever loved anyone before, but she knew what she had to do. "I have to." And with that she walked out the door without looking back, leaving an astonished Will standing in their bedroom staring after her.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Present Day: JJ`s Office

"I`m sorry." JJ whispered, glancing at the clock over Hotch`s shoulder. 8:30. She`d spent an hour crying.

"Don`t apologize." Hotch replied, getting up off the floor, and helping her up.

"You should be home with Jack." She said.

"I`m going there, as soon as I drive you home, you can get your car in the morning." He offered, passing her jacket to her as she picked up her purse, and go bag.

"Thanks." JJ said following Hotch out of her office, and locking the door.

"No thank-you`s neccesary. What are friends for?"

-o-o-o-o-o-o

JJ didn`t say a word until they were in Hotch`s car almost to her house, she was really shocked. Hotch had never called a coleague a friend before, not even David Rossi, who she considered to be his best friend. "Are you okay?" Hotch questioned.

"No." JJ replied. "Will broke up with me, and you know the worst part?" Hotch shook his head. "He warned me. He said that if I went on that case that we were done, but I ignored him."

"I`m so sorry JJ." He said stopping the car by her house and looking over at her. "I didn`t know your house was for sale. Did you move?" JJ turned around in her seat and looked out the window at the for sale sign on her lawn and the large red sticker across the middle of it that said SOLD.

"Neither did I." She replied. "I`d better book a hotel room." She added, pulling out her phone.

"Nonsense, you can stay with me until you can get your own place."

Okay, now this is too weird. JJ thought. Why is he being so-so comforting. Then it suddenly all fell into place, Hotch had been in the very same boat as her a few years back, Haley had divorced him because of this job, and now Will was doing the same thing to her. "Thanks Hotch, but I don`t want to be a burden."

"You wouldn`t be a burden, your like family to me and Jack."

"You`re not going to let me say no are you?" He shook his head. "Alright."

-o-o-o-o-o-o

JJ stood in the guest room of Hotch`s house, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She just stood there for a moment looking in the mirror. How did I go from being engaged, to living in the guest bedroom of my boss`s house? She thought, then her thoughts changed from Will to Hotch, he wasn`t just her boss, he was her friend. He wasn`t just a coleague, he was her best friend. Hotch came in, interrupting her thoughts. "You okay?" He asked, concerned.

"Hmm, never better." She lied.

"Come on JJ, I know you, that`s a lie. What`s going on? Did Will call?"

She hadn`t managed to fool him, but she should have known that it wouldn`t work, after all he was a profiler and her best friend. "No, that`s it exactly. He never bothered to call, just left a stupid note." JJ replied, her eyes filling with tears. She had just noticed that Hotch was holding her go-bag, he must have brought it in from his car for her, when he dropped it. He came over to her and held her in his arms as, for the second time that day, she cried on his shoulder.

-o-o-o-o-o-o

That night all JJ could think about was Will, what happened earlier, and their fight. She couldn`t sleep at all, because whenever she closed her eyes images of the past week kept popping up in her head. Everything she did, heard and saw from the fight, what happened in New York, to that note.

-o-o-o-o-o-o

Down the hall, in his room, Hotch re-thought everything that had happened over the past week. The decisions he had made when it came to putting JJ in danger. The choice he had made to let her go into the house alone. She had been angry at Will, and thinking irrationally, nevertheless it was his fault for letting it happen. He couldn`t help but wonder if the danger JJ had been in had played a part in Will breaking up with her. If he was the reason JJ`s heart had been torn in two.


	2. Chapter 2: The Explosion

2 Days Before

"Come on Hotch, I`m the only one she can relate to, I have to go in." JJ pleaded.

"Not alone, and not un-armed." Hotch argued. Of course she had a point, this UNSUB was a woman, and the only person on his team who could pretend to connect with her so she would tell them how to stop the bomb from blowing up in the nearest mall in approximately 30 minutes, was JJ.

"This is our shot at saving those people!" JJ begged. "Please Hotch! "

"Fine, be careful. And at the first sign of danger press the talk button for 3 seconds. JJ, do you understand me?" He said handing her the walkie talkie.

She nodded passed him her gun, and proceeded toward the house.

-o-o-o-o-o

When JJ walked in the house, the first thing she saw was Amelia Taylor sitting in a lazy boy chair, centered in the middle of her living room. The second thing she saw was the bomb strapped to her stomach. JJ tensed but started to walk forward.

"Stop! not another step forward!" Amelia ordered.

"Okay." She stuttered, stopping and holding her hands up. " You dont have to do this, I understand why you think you have to kill those people."

"No, you don`t! Nobody does!" She started to press her thumb down on the button attached to the bomb.

"Your husband was killed by a bomb in Afganastan, and you think that you can't live without him. You want to make other people feel the pain you did when he died, but it's not enough, you thought that killing those people would make you feel better, but nevertheless it didn't. Now, you think the only way to fill the hole in your heart is to join him, in death, but why? Why kill those people at the mall today?" She spoke quickly, urgently, but keeping her voice even and calm the same with her expression. Show no fear. She thought. She'd learned that from Hotch, who in her opinion was the best negotiater on her team, because he was normally stoic, trying to hide fear usually came easily to him.

"It was a decoy. There is no bomb at the mall. I wanted to distract all the officials who are after me, so I could pass peacefully, but that didn't happen. The only person I intend to kill today is myself,  
>and if you don't leave, you as well."<p>

"You don't have to do this. You don't have to kill yourself. You could talk to someone, a phsyciatrist, they deal with greif councelling all the type."

"No. I will be with the love of my life." With that, she pressed down on the button. JJ tried to find the talk button on the walkie talkie, but she was too late, before she could get her hand on it she was thrown into the woods behind Amelia's house by the impact of the explosion.

-o-o-o-o-o

As the house blew up, Hotch's heart stopped. He watched as debris and two female bodies flew through the air. No! He thought, running towards Amelia Taylor's house. He was stopped by Dave,  
>who grabbed both his arms and pulled him back.<p>

"Not yet Aaron." He said. There were still large pieces of wood, glass, and siding flying everywhere.

Morgan saw Hotch trying to go towards the house, and ran over to help Dave, who was having trouble holding him back. "It's not safe, man." He said.

-o-o-o-o-o

JJ opened her eyes to see Hotch knelt down beside her, yelling her name and muttering apologies. He kept on rambling and didn't notice that she was awake. Her throat was sore, and she could barely make a sound. She finally managed to get out a whisper. "H-Hotch."

He looked down at her, letting out a sigh of relief. "I thought I lost you." His voice contained pain, and JJ looked up to meet his gaze. His eyes were watery as if he had been about to cry. The sight of her stoic, and strong unit chief with tears in his eyes made her heart break.

He yelled for a medic, and one came rushing over. She was lifted onto a stretcher and brought into the back of an ambulance as the parameedics began to examine her. She kept her eyes locked on Hotch's until the doors closed and she could no longer see him. Everything around her suddenly became blurry and her eyes slowly shut.

When she finally came to, she was in a hospital bed. Beside her, Hotch was sat in a chair, holding her hand. He looked exhausted, and worried. After a moment, he broke the silence. "I'm so sorry,  
>JJ. I never should have let you go in there."<p>

She shook her head. "Don't apologize, it's not your fault."

"Yes, it is. I shouldn't have let it happen."

She was speechless, she didn't know if she could conivince him that he wasn't at fault for this. All she could think to do was assure him that she didn't blame him. "Hotch, it was my choice, not yours to go in. It was my choice even though I knew this might happen. I don't blame you, the only person I can blame is Amelia Taylor."

He nodded, in agreement, she hoped. "How are you?" He asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, a little sore that's all, I was lucky." She replied. "Where is everybody else?" She added, noticing the absense of the rest of her team.

"I told them to go back to the hotel, they needed to rest."

"What about you?" She asked, knowing the answer.

"I wouldn't have slept until I knew you were okay, anyways."

"How long have I been out?"

"About 12 hours. The doctors had to give you extra strong anesthisia. You wouldn't sleep. You kept calling out for someone."

"Do you know who?" She questioned, curious as to what she had said.

Hotch looked at the floor. "Umm..." He seemed slightly nervous, and JJ wondered why. When his eyes finally locked with hers again, he sighed. "Me."


	3. Chapter 3: Confusion and Heartache

What? JJ thought, she had no idea why she would call out to Hotch. "I...I.. uhh... I can't... tell you why... until I figure it out myself." She admitted. Hotch nodded in understanding.

She thought for what seemed like forever, but couldn't think of any explanation as to why she had called his name. And then it came to her, a memory of before she was given the anesthisia. Her last thought before the powerful drug had taken over. Hotch. She needed him. Needed him more than she had ever needed anyone before. But she didn't know why. Was it because she knew him so well? Was it because she knew she could trust him, in her moment of weakness, powerless, and surounded by strangers who held her life in their hands, the only ones she could rely on were her team, and he's the leader or that team, her good friend, and the one she knew she could trust no matter what the cost? Or was it something more... ? She didn't know.

"You should get some sleep now, JJ. I'll tell you everything you want to know once you wake up." Hotch's voice jolted her out of her thoughts.

"Everything?" She questioned, because he couldn't answer her most important question: Why had she called for him?

"About the unsub, and the team during the time you were asleep. I know this is hard for you, JJ. So that's why I don't want everybody in here crowding you. You still have some memory loss and for now I think it's best to just have one visitor." She nodded, showing she agreed with his plan. "If you'd rather have Prentiss or Garica than me, I can go get one of them."

"No. Stay." She said sleepily.

"I promise, I will." He whispered, grabbing her hand in his. "I'll be right here when you wake up. Now, go to sleep." With that she drifted into the world of dreams.

-o-o-o-o-o-o

**Present Day: Hotch's House**

JJ woke up and looked around her. She wasn't home, and this certainly didn't look like a hotel room. Suddenly, it all came back to her. The bombing, Will, Hotch. She was in the guest room of Hotch's house. She got up and found her go-bag across the room by the door.

After getting dressed, and pulling her hair up into a messy ponytail, she made her way down to Hotch's kitchen. Where is he? She wondered. Then she saw the tiny slip of paper on the counter. To most people, Aaron Hotchner's handwriting was illegible, but to her it was as clear as day because she had seen it almost every day for the past 5 years. The note said: Gone to pick up Jack, help yourself to whatever's in the cupboards. I'll be back soon. If you need anything, call.

Jack. She had forgotten all about Jack. Hotch normally picked up his son at Jessica's right after he left work, but last night he had been too caught up in comforting her, that he'd let Jack spend the night with his Aunt Jess.

She started to make some coffee for herself, but it wasn't finished before a very excited Jack came running into the house, followed by his tired looking father. The little boy appeared to be headed to his bedroom, but stopped when he saw JJ. He ran up to her and gave her a huge hug. "Ms. Jareau!" He exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Right as he said this, Hotch entered the room. "She's going to stay with us for a bit, okay buddy?" He answered. Jack nodded excitedly, and finally let go of her.

"Yes, I am." She confirmed, smiling at the little boy, who was the spitting image of his father. "Why don't you go put your stuff away, and I'll be up to play with you in a minute?" He nodded, and ran up the stairs.

Once the two were alone, the smile Hotch wore around his son faded. "How are you?" He asked sincerely.

She started to smile and say she was fine but thought again, she couldn't fool him, and why should she try? It's pointless to lie to somebody who actually cares. "It feels like he ripped my heart in two and left it beating in my chest." She replied, tears burning her eyes and threatening to escape them.

"I know the feeling." He replied. "It's not going to be an easy ride, but eventually that feeling will go away. Over time, bit by bit, that hole in your heart will start to repair. It's never all gone, but it does get smaller, JJ."

"Ms. Jareau!" Jack yelled, from the top of the stairs.

"I'd better go." She said. "And Hotch, thank you." She added as she passed him to go upstairs with Jack.

"What are we playing?" She asked Jack, sitting down on his bed.

"Cars."

After a few minutes of playing with the small cars, he looked up at her. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"Of course, why do you ask?" She said, smiling.

"You're crying."

He reached a tiny hand up to brush a tear off her cheek. She couldn't help but smile at his gesture through the tears. "Is it because of Daddy?" He asked.

"What?" She replied, confused. She couldn't even imagine Hotch ever making her cry, he'd never do anything to hurt her.

"Mommy used to cry all the time because Daddy broke her heart. Did Daddy do that to you too?"

She shook her head, and tried to smile but couldn't. "Someone broke my heart, but it wasn't your Daddy. It was Henry's Daddy. " She wiped away the last few tears, and looked up to see Hotch standing in the doorway. She wondered how much of their conversation he had heard, but she knew when she saw the pain in his eyes. She got up and turned to Jack. "I'm going to go talk to you Daddy now." She announced, walking towards Hotch. The little boy nodded then turned back around and continued pushing the cars around his room.

"Can we talk?" She asked Hotch. He nodded. They started to walk down the stairs. Once they were out of Jack's ear shot, they sat down on the couch and she turned to him. "Did you hear... What Jack said?"

He looked at the floor. "Yes." His answer was barely audible. "Do you think it's true? That I did something to break her heart, and make her file for divorce?"

"No." She said, honestly. "It's not your fault that she couldn't accept the fact that your job is who you are, not just what you do. You save lives, and insure that justice is served, and she was too selfish to see that. Without your job you wouldn't be the wonderful, caring, man you are, who is the best at saving people."

"I wasn't the best when it came to saving her."

JJ's eyes grew wide as she realized that he blamed himself for Haley's death. "That wasn't your fault. It was Foyet's. You couldn't have gotten there any faster, it's just not possible. I'm sorry, but nobody could have saved her, not even you. The only person you can blame, is dead because you killed him." When he didn't respond, she added. "She broke her own heart. And made the biggest mistake of her life letting go of someone as nice as you." If it were anyone else, she would have been worried that her last sentence sounded like she was in love with him but she knew he'd understand the way she meant it.

"Thanks JJ, I really needed that."

"What? Honesty? Well maybe you should talk to me more often, I'm nothing if not honest."

"I'm sorry. I don't talk to you very much outside of work, do I?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"What we do, it takes up a lot of our time. And whatever free time we have we spend with those we love. You with Jack. Morgan and some girl. Garcia and Kevin. Emily and Sergio. Rossi and whatever soon-to-be-ex-wife he has now. Me and Will and Henry." As she said the last words tears started to form in her eyes. Will was no longer her family, and she had to accept that. But without him her family was broken. She was glad that Henry was staying with her parents for a few days. Then a thought popped into her head. What if Will took Henry?


End file.
